Lately I’ve become a little cold, not because I live in Alabama in March where it is 75° one day and 35° the next. I’m talking about the inner man, the part that, when fed properly, yearns to grow. It is also the part that, when I live for this flesh, grows dim and frigid. I’m not sure how I get to that point because I know that God loves me and wants to feed my soul. I think it is that imperfect part of a person that is subject to fall short that begins to trust in the temporary instead of the eternal.
I believe that in all of us there is a longing to find and please our Creator. I also think when we do not trust that God loves us we choose bad things to fill the void. God beckons us to come to him but so many times we trust in the emptiness of this world. When we see God for who he is, and trust that he sent his son to die for our sins, then we can know the true peace that comes from above.
The Bible teaches that we love God because he loved us first. We could not, in our fallen state, understand what true love is. In the sacrifice that was made at Calvary we see the ultimate act of charity. How is it that I forget this? Why do I let myself get out of fellowship with the one that truly loves me? This is the delema that plagues me daily. I can feel God stir in my soul on Monday and be down in a hole again on Tuesday. What a weak subject I am.
I have not written a post in a few weeks. You see, as the blog’s title implies, I am up and down in my walk. Writing becomes difficult when I am low, I guess because I have no inspiration. But somewhere in the cob webs of my heart lies the truth that I know about God and how he has stirred me in times past. Then I feel a yearning to create something just to prove my soul is still in tact and that God still loves me. When I was a child I sang that I knew that Jesus loves me because the Bible said so. I know now that he has always loved me and that is why I love him.
I am not writing this piece because I have all the answers. I can not tell you that I never do wrong. That is not the truth about me or any other Christian. I am writing this because I suspect that many of you, like me, get caught up in this life and forget to seek the God that is looking for you. If nothing else, it has helped me just to see my shortcomings and to try to grow to a place where I trust the unseen more than the seen. I hope it will remind you to do the same.
1 John 4:19 We love him, because he first loved us.