I used to be wide open. I would get in my car and take off whenever I wanted, headed wherever I desired. If I didn’t like my job I would leave. One friend told me that it seemed like I didn’t have a care in the world. A Sunday School teacher at church said that marriage would turn me into a man. In my mind (and probably on my face) I scoffed. I did not wait around for anyone. I needed nothing to hold me back.
I fell in love. This simple fact turned all of that freedom nonsense upside down. It wasn’t all about me anymore. It got so bad that I decided to marry that girl and stay with her for the rest of my life. It was a life changing kind of thing. I had heard about those deeper moments in life but I was caught up in the mindless pursuits of a foolish young man. I wasn’t interested in settling down. I didn’t know what I was missing.
For those of you that do not know, my wife has a rare arterial disease called fibromuscular dysplasia. I will not go into the specifics of this sickness. I will tell you that it is very debilitating. She has spent many days in the bed at home and hospitals. She even spent some days in intensive care after a couple of strokes in 2013. There have been so many visits to so many doctors that I cannot even count them. We spent last Friday at the doctor’s office and then the hospital getting a cat scan. I told her jokingly that I had a great knowledge of the medical field that I never thought I would have. It is really not that funny but sometimes all you can do is laugh.
This isn’t how we had it figured when we got together. I worry about her all the time. She worries about me worrying about her. She also thinks that she holds me back. I have spent a lot of time in waiting rooms. I slept in recliners, on cots and even a straight back chair in the ICU. There has never been a time in any of these situations that I have felt held back. I found freedom in falling in love with her. She is where I begin and end. I wait on her because I love her. I do not have to stay. I need to be wherever she is. I am not burdened by waiting. It is where I have to be.
Our wedding vows said in sickness and health. I didn’t know what that meant at the time. I have a grasp on that now. If I had known all of this before we got married I would have done it anyway. Don’t feel bad for me though, she is the one that is sick. I know her pretty good. I am sure she would not want your pity either. This post really wasn’t meant for any of that. I just wanted to tell you a love story. It may not be as pretty as some movie you have seen. It is our truth though. I will wait on her as long as I get to.