Just Because I Wait On Her Doesn’t Mean She’s Holding Me Back

Just Because I Wait On Her Doesn’t Mean She’s Holding Me Back

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I used to be wide open.  I would get in my car and take off whenever I wanted, headed wherever I desired.  If I didn’t like my job I would leave.  One friend told me that it seemed like I didn’t have a care in the world.  A Sunday School teacher at church said that marriage would turn me into a man.  In my mind (and probably on my face) I scoffed.  I did not wait around for anyone.  I needed nothing to hold me back.

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I fell in love.  This simple fact turned all of that freedom nonsense upside down.  It wasn’t all about me anymore.  It got so bad that I decided to marry that girl and stay with her for the rest of my life.  It was a life changing kind of thing.  I had heard about those deeper moments in life but I was caught up in the mindless pursuits of a foolish young man.  I wasn’t interested in settling down.  I didn’t know what I was missing.

For those of you that do not know, my wife has a rare arterial disease called fibromuscular dysplasia.  I will not go into the specifics of this sickness.  I will tell you that it is very debilitating.  She has spent many days in the bed at home and hospitals.  She even spent some days in intensive care after a couple of strokes in 2013.  There have been so many visits to so many doctors that I cannot even count them. We spent last Friday at the doctor’s office and then the hospital getting a cat scan.  I told her jokingly that I had a great knowledge of the medical field that I never thought I would have.  It is really not that funny but sometimes all you can do is laugh.

This isn’t how we had it figured when we got together.  I worry about her all the time.  She worries about me worrying about her.  She also thinks that she holds me back.  I have spent a lot of time in waiting rooms.  I slept in recliners, on cots and even a straight back chair in the ICU.  There has never been a time in any of these situations that I have felt held back.  I found freedom in falling in love with her.  She is where I begin and end.  I wait on her because I love her.  I do not have to stay.  I need to be wherever she is.  I am not burdened by waiting.  It is where I have to be.

Our wedding vows said in sickness and health.  I didn’t know what that meant at the time.  I have a grasp on that now. If I had known all of this before we got married I would have done it anyway.  Don’t feel bad for me though, she is the one that is sick.  I know her pretty good.  I am sure she would not want your pity either.  This post really wasn’t meant for any of that.  I just wanted to tell you a love story.  It may not be as pretty as some movie you have seen.  It is our truth though.  I will wait on her as long as I get to.



2 Replies to “Just Because I Wait On Her Doesn’t Mean She’s Holding Me Back”

  1. I am so glad that you are there to take care of my friend. You are blessed to have each other. Thank you for sharing a real love story!

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